"I don't quite know who else to go to, and you were the first one to come to mind. Who would be the top 10 fuckable Ancient Greeks or Romans?"
okay 1. you’re a sinful human being and i will see you in hell 2. it’s very hard to pick 10 but i will try
1. sappho because she is forever my fairy gaymother and gives me the gayest feelings ever
2. marcus aurelius. damn, son. just damn.
3. clodia metelli. sorry, cat, but your angry poetry about her kinda just makes me want to make out with her SUPER hard.
4. horace. look, sometimes you just wanna fuck the poet you identify the most with, okay? i don’t need your judgment over here
5. actually can i just put like. basically half of the poets here on one? because this list is just gonna be poets if not but i’m sorry i would def sleep with most of them, especially the later ones, when they’re all referencing each other. intertextuality just turns me on alright look you asked for this
6. say what you will about mark antony but i bet he was damn good in bed. just sayin
7. maecenas can definitely be patron of my arts, if you get what i mean. look i’m a literature hoe, what do you want from me
8. telesilla of argos. that’s one badass motherfucker if i’ve ever seen one!! i’d follow her into battle anytime
9. pericles is just…really damn pretty. also he’s an orator so you know he knows how to use his tongue ;))))
oh shit i only have one left uh
10. lucian of samosata. like yeah his lit’s kinda weird sometimes and he probably would be on the history channel talking about aliens if he were alive today but look he’s funny okay
i hope you’re happy, anon
